Individual Counseling for Relationship Issues
in Phoenix
Gain skills for healthy and happy relationships.
Does it seem like you always give more than you receive in relationships?
While this initially seems like a harmless behavior and may help you avoid relationship conflict in the beginning, it turns into a negative pattern that leaves you feeling lonely, rejected, and always unsatisfied.
You’ve likely seen this pattern play out with multiple partners, even when at first, it felt like “this time is different.” Over time the relationship becomes co-dependent, toxic, and negative. Although there may be periods of happiness, these periods become less and less frequent.
No one truly seeks out a negative, abusive or distant relationship, but if you didn’t receive love and affection growing up, you may be pre-disposed to fall into an abusive, negative or distant relationship. Perhaps you’ve never had a healthy relationship where you felt loved for who you are, and where you knew you could trust your partner and feel safe.
This is actually a normal response to an unhealthy and uncaring upbringing. It’s like you’ve been fed gruel your entire life, so when you first smell bacon and eggs, it feels unfamiliar. Although the more nutritious and life-giving “meal” seems appealing, you’re not quite sure how to navigate it because you’ve never experienced it before.
These experiences may lead to harmful patterns of interacting in relationships:
Self-doubt about whether or not you can handle a healthy relationship
Self-sabotage by only pursuing relationships where your partner is emotionally vacant or unavailable
Self-criticism when you fail to meet the expectations of others (even if these expectations are unrealistic)
Self-denial, choosing to focus so much on your partner that you are unaware of your own needs and/or struggle to ask for your needs to be met
“To teach people how to treat you, you do not begin with them, you begin with yourself.”
- Josephine Wiseheart
In counseling we’ll address the only part of your relationships that you have absolute control to change - yourself.
Although it sounds cliche, many relationship problems are a result of the interactions we had (or missed out on) with our caregivers growing up. It is natural to want to “correct” these interactions through romantic partners in an attempt to feel whole. But when you do this unaware of your intentions, the results can be disastrous for your relationship.
When you are able to understand your motivations for actions, your reasons for your particular triggers, and your desires for how to be loved, you can view yourself (and often your partner) through new eyes and make decisions that enhance, rather than harm your relationships.
Your relationship can be one of the most joyful experiences of your life. However, the beauty of working on your relationships through individual counseling is that your inner world blooms to the point that you are fulfilled without needing a relationship… so you can simply focus on enjoying it.
Contact me today to set up an appointment.
“… many adults who have experienced early emotional abuse and neglect share a common thread of disconnection and alienation. Although they typically desire closeness, they often feel different or damaged and struggle with forming intimate relationships while maintaining their own boundaries. The therapeutic relationship can provide a relational base from which to begin to explore and transform these issues.”