Why is Belonging So Important?

In my counseling studies, I gravitated towards Adlerian therapy, developed by Alfred Adler who was a peer of Freud. One important facet of Adlerian theory is that we all desire to feel a sense of competence and belonging. Humans are social creatures and need connection; however sometimes events in life hinder our sense of belonging which can result in depression, anxiety and even suicidal thoughts.

When my clients lack a sense of belonging, we discover the causes that led to feeling like an outsider and not good enough. Some common events that occur during childhood such as bullying, discrimination, repeated rejections, and frequent household moves making it challenging to solidify social ties and friend groups can all contribute to someone in adulthood feeling challenged with a sense of belonging. Trauma therapy can help uncover these possible causes of why we don’t feel included and connected so we don’t unjustly blaming ourselves.

Sometimes events in adulthood contribute to lack of belonging like major life changes that require reestablishing roots such as job loss, divorce, moving geographically, and health issues. The recent pandemic and lockdowns isolated many and that has resulted in a lack of belonging as people distanced themselves from friends, family and social networks; for some, it has been challenging to rejuvenate those relationships.

For all these issues, I help clients in individual therapy to hone their social skills, reinvest in themselves, invigorate hobbies/activities, engage socially with others, heal from past hurts and leave their comfortable “bubble” to live life without fear and anxiety. Teaching good boundaries and communication skills are key as well so we feel comfortable engaging with others and can create our own safety.

I meet my clients with courage, respect and responsibility to help them increase their belonging and purpose in life. This is something I am very passionate about. If you would like to learn more, please contact me.